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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Gang
Critics
Eunuchs
Bang
Bangs
More quotes by George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
