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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Hair
Either
Everyone
Running
Government
Screwed
Things
Driving
Surprise
Cutting
More quotes by George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
