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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Hill
Hills
Rather

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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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