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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Martini
Spill
Jogging
Spills
Makes
Never

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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