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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Spills
Makes
Never
Martini
Spill
Jogging
More quotes by George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
