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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Spill
Jogging
Spills
Makes
Never
Martini

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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Life's but a day at most.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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