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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Forty
Silly
Wake
Begins
Saying
Morning
Every
Life

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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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