Quote

In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Best
Whiskey
Ice
Effective
Particularly
Humor
Wasn
Painkillers
Days
Addictive
Funny
Poured

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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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