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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Effective
Particularly
Humor
Wasn
Painkillers
Days
Addictive
Funny
Poured
Best
Whiskey
Ice
More quotes by George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
