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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Humor
Dead
Knew
Smoked
Funny
Burns
Stills
Doctor
Still
Doctors
Asked
Late

More quotes by George Burns

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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns