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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
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Rope
Thrill
Pool
Shoot
Putting
Sex
Even
Holder
Trying
Cigar
More quotes by George Burns
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
