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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
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Rope
Thrill
Pool
Shoot
Putting
Sex
Even
Holder
Trying
Cigar
More quotes by George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
