Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Shoot
Putting
Sex
Even
Holder
Trying
Cigar
Like
Rope
Thrill
Pool
More quotes by George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns