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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Sex
Even
Holder
Trying
Cigar
Like
Rope
Thrill
Pool
Shoot
Putting
More quotes by George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
