Quote

Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Thrill
Pool
Shoot
Putting
Sex
Even
Holder
Trying
Cigar
Like
Rope

More quotes by George Burns

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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns