Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Take
Laugh
Cigar
Long
Laughing
Timing
Stop
Purposes
Start
Joke
Purpose
Smoke
Use
Mouth
Tell
Mouths
Next
Jokes
More quotes by George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns