Quote

I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Take
Laugh
Cigar
Long
Laughing
Timing
Stop
Purposes
Start
Joke
Purpose
Smoke
Use
Mouth
Tell
Mouths
Next
Jokes

More quotes by George Burns

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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns