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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Cigar
Paid
Sleep
Firsts
First

More quotes by George Burns

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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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Life's but a day at most.
George Burns