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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Paid
Sleep
Firsts
First
Cigar

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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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