Quote

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Cigar
Paid
Sleep
Firsts
First

More quotes by George Burns

Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
Image
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Image
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Image
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
Image
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Image
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
Image
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Image
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
Image
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Image
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Image
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Image
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Image
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
Image
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
Image
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Image
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
Image
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
Image
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
Image
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Image
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns