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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Cigar
Paid
Sleep
Firsts
First

More quotes by George Burns

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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns