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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
First
Cigar
Paid
Sleep
Firsts

More quotes by George Burns

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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns