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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Children
Cruises
Kind
Cruise
Kinds
Travel
Humor
Pleasure
Funny
Two

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns