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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Easy
Business
Fake
Shows
Honesty
Keys
Rest
Learned
Word
Show
More quotes by George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
