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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Something
Moving
Havens
Facts
Haven
Telephones
Hands
Number
Grandchildren
Two
Move
Phone
Kids
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Humorous
Might
Hand
Phones
Hard
Since
Obviously
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Seven

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I get a standing ovation just standing
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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