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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Years
Humorous
People
Whose
Couldn
Names
Funny
Doesn
Remember
Forgetful
Mean
Fifty
More quotes by George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
