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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Couldn
Names
Funny
Doesn
Remember
Forgetful
Mean
Fifty
Years
Humorous
People
Whose
More quotes by George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
