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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Remember
Forgetful
Mean
Fifty
Years
Humorous
People
Whose
Couldn
Names
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Doesn
More quotes by George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
