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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Kids
None
Around
Lucky
Way
Name
Time
Middle
Names
Funny
Mother
Naming
Another
Humorous

More quotes by George Burns

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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns