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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Mother
Naming
Another
Humorous
Kids
None
Around
Lucky
Way
Name
Time
Middle
Names
Funny

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns