Quote

When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Looking
Agent
Working
Humour
Funny
Directly
Didn
Agents
Would
Spent
Time
Blame
Wasn
Blamed
Somebody
Belonged

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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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