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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Didn
Agents
Would
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Wasn
Blamed
Somebody
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Working
Humour
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More quotes by George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
