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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Somebody
Belonged
Looking
Agent
Working
Humour
Funny
Directly
Didn
Agents
Would
Spent
Time
Blame
Wasn
Blamed

More quotes by George Burns

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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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