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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Feels
Something
Lied
Make
Tell
Never
Else
Love
Better
Look
Looks
Feel

More quotes by George Burns

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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns