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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Lunch
Sex
Fun
Eighty
Ninety

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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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