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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Sex
Fun
Eighty
Ninety
Lunch

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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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