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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Ninety
Lunch
Sex
Fun
Eighty

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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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