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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Fun
Eighty
Ninety
Lunch
Sex

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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns