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I get a standing ovation just standing

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Inspiration
Ovation
Standing

More quotes by George Burns

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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns