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I get a standing ovation just standing

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Standing
Inspiration
Ovation

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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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