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I get a standing ovation just standing

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Ovation
Standing
Inspiration

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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns