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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Booked
Aging
Humor
Dies
Age
Funny
More quotes by George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
