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How can I die? I'm booked.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Booked
Aging
Humor
Dies
Age
Funny

More quotes by George Burns

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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns