Quote

How can I die? I'm booked.

George Burns

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Funny
Booked
Aging
Humor
Dies
Age

More quotes by George Burns

Image
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Image
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
Image
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
Image
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Image
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
Image
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
Image
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Image
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
Image
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Image
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
Image
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Image
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Image
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
Image
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
Image
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
Image
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
Image
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
Image
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns