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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Place
Vaudeville
Stink
Collapse
Talent
Evil
More quotes by George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns