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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Stink
Collapse
Talent
Evil
Place
Vaudeville

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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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