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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Talent
Evil
Place
Vaudeville
Stink
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More quotes by George Burns

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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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