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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Drunk
Drinking
Drink
Funny
Fall
Problem

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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