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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Problem
Drunk
Drinking
Drink
Funny
Fall

More quotes by George Burns

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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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Life's but a day at most.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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