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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Drunk
Drinking
Drink
Funny
Fall
Problem
More quotes by George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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