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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Funny
Fall
Problem
Drunk
Drinking
Drink
More quotes by George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
