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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Drunk
Drinking
Drink
Funny
Fall
Problem
More quotes by George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns