Quote

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Nice
Sure
Idea
Deodorant
Strong
Lotion
Ideas
Cologne
Might
Wear
Good
Advice
Clothes

More quotes by George Burns

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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns