Quote

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Might
Wear
Good
Advice
Clothes
Nice
Sure
Idea
Deodorant
Strong
Lotion
Ideas
Cologne

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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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