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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Nice
Sure
Idea
Deodorant
Strong
Lotion
Ideas
Cologne
Might
Wear
Good
Advice
Clothes
More quotes by George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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Life's but a day at most.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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