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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Good
Advice
Clothes
Nice
Sure
Idea
Deodorant
Strong
Lotion
Ideas
Cologne
Might
Wear

More quotes by George Burns

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns