Quote

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Might
Wear
Good
Advice
Clothes
Nice
Sure
Idea
Deodorant
Strong
Lotion
Ideas
Cologne

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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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