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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Going
Retiring
Retirement
Aging
Stay
Show
Business
Left
Retire
Shows
Retired
More quotes by George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
