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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Going
Retiring
Retirement
Aging
Stay
Show
Business
Left
Retire
Shows
Retired

More quotes by George Burns

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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns