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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Business
Left
Retire
Shows
Retired
Going
Retiring
Retirement
Aging
Stay
Show

More quotes by George Burns

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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns