Quote

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Lawyers
Satan
Lawyer
Blame
Everything
People

More quotes by George Burns

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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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