Quote

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Satan
Lawyer
Blame
Everything
People
Lawyers

More quotes by George Burns

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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns