Quote

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
People
Lawyers
Satan
Lawyer
Blame
Everything

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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