Quote

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Lawyers
Satan
Lawyer
Blame
Everything
People

More quotes by George Burns

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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns